A short review of Argento's Dracula

Author Photo: Luke View More from Luke

Dracula 3D

Writer: Dario Argento, Enrique Cerezo, Stefano Piani
Cast: Thomas Kretschmann, Marta Gastini, Asia Argento
Director: Dario Argento
Release Year:2012

Disclaimer: All opinions are those of the author, and do not reflect the opinions of DreadCult, staff or owner. Posts may contain Amazon affiliate links, marked with. If you purchase a product through one of these links, we recieve a small commission at no additional cost to you

I watched this a decade ago and didn’t get it. I hadn’t seen much Argento and was like, “This doesn’t fly in 2012.”

A decade later, I was in a CVS and saw this in a movie rack for 5.95 and thought, “Let’s try again.” I have watched a lot of Argento, most if not all gothic Hammer, and a metric ton of Spanish and Italian horror since I first watched this a decade ago, so I understood more of what I was seeing and watching this time.

It is definitely a homage to the low-budget style of the early 70s Spanish/ Italian gothic monster movies. The problem is… It’s been almost 40 years, and it hasn’t improved much with time. So, while I better understood what I was watching, it only marginally improved the viewing.

It’s a throwback to trash cinema without the spark, allure, and fun.

Is there some blood and gore? Yes, and it’s pretty good.

Are there lots of boobs? Yes, including a pre-tattooed-up Asia Argento ( I mean, Anthony Bourdain ruined his life for this woman)

Is there a giant killer praying mantis? Yes. Points for that, but the CGI is straight late 90s PS1 quality.

Does it have Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing? Yes, it does. And while Hauer is great in anything, it doesn’t help how slow-paced this is.

Sure, there’s intense sexual activity, solid blood and gore, and a giant praying mantis that moves like the Flash. But does that alone make for an enjoyable Dracula storytelling experience or justify changing up some of the most notable story points? No. But I enjoyed it and had more patience than I did a decade ago.

I love Argento, but this is for diehards only. It would surely be a cult hit if this had been released in the ’70s. In 2012… it felt more like a naive film project from a young director with no budget. In 2023, it’s just not up to snuff, but luckily, Argento has such an amazing back catalog that you can forget this unless you are incredibly curious, want to watch Asia writhe around naked, or need a dose of a giant man-eating praying mantis.

Giving it a 5 out of 10 would be generous. So it’s probably a 4 out of 10……

Search the Archives

Type something weird, see what happens

OR

Read More Like This

Anthony Wong on the Taxi Hunter Movie Poster

Review of Taxi Hunter: The best buddy cop revenge thriller you haven’t seen yet

DreadCult September 4, 2023

Read More

Stay Tuned (1992)

Luke September 23, 2023

Read More

Older Gods

DreadCult April 5, 2024

Read More